My Mother, My Friend

As I sit at the kitchen table drinking my coffee I look over at my mother who is working on her daily crossword puzzle. I often wonder if she will ever know just how valuable a person she really is.

When I was younger, I would follow my father around. Learning how to plant rose bushes and keep them up or build missions out of sugar cubes. Anything that had to do with my father I was there front row listening with great admiration. My older sister would do the same with my mother. Granted, I loved my mother dearly, but she was always taken up with something in the house and I apparently wanted more. As a girl I found it hard to believe that household chores were what being a female was all about. I tried everything I saw my father do, within reason.

My mother did play a role in my life even if it was a small one in the beginning. Then one day I began to realize after my parents divorce what a wonderful human being she really was. We would talk to all hours of the night sometimes or go somewhere and find out we liked some of the same things.

A few years later I got married and had a family of my own. My two sons are close to me and we do talk to great lengths at times. But somehow I often wondered if they ever felt the same way about me as I did my mother. It wasn't until recently that my youngest son told me he never felt that way. Whenever anything bothered my sons, even as of today, they come over and just sit not saying a word. Sometimes they will just ask to take a nap in my room. When this happened I wanted to ask what that was all about but didn't. 

It was my youngest son who explained it to me. "You know Mom, sometimes my brother and I don't want to talk about what is bothering us at the time. That is why we don't sit with you but ask to take a nap in your bed. The blankets are like your arms wrapped around us like a big hug." I cried when he told me that.
Now that my sons have their own families and yes they still once in a while take a nap in my room, it is comforting to know that they still feel that way about their own mom.

Time has taken my step-father to his grave and divorce visited me a long time ago. So here I sit with my mother watching the same tv shows that make our sides ache or tears to our eyes. We have become friends in the midst of a mother-daughter relationship. Age has taken its toll on both of us but we have come to know that even though we cannot be in eachothers faces, we can be there for one another when it counts. This is all in the game called Life I suppose, but I wouldn't have it any other way...  

Mama Birdie, Baby Birdies

This is something I made up when my two sons were two and three. I had just separated from my husband and two years later filed for divorce. It was a hard time and I wanted to try to make my sons as comfortable with my decision as possible. I didn't tell them I was filing for divorce from their Daddy, I was getting them ready for what was about to become the single most devastating thing to happen in our lives.

When I dropped them off at daycare before going to work, I would tell them that the Mama Birdie loves her Baby birdies. That the Mama Birdie would always return to the nest to feed, comfort, and hold her babies no matter what.

This carried into their lives as men. My oldest being thirty-one and a half will use it when it serves him. Like getting pizza for him if I am on the road doing errands and he is tired from work. My youngest being thirty, unfortunately has not spoken to me due to a misunderstanding between us. I miss him with all my heart. The baby birdie that I feel got left behind and there is nothing I can do, but wait.

My oldest son is having his own baby birdie this August, I can hardly wait. I have gone through the empty-nest syndrome already. It hurt the first time, second time, and now the third time is not any easier but I am getting over it sooner than I thought. My oldest moved in and out and in and out, and in again. For the past 2 weeks he has been moving out.

Mama Birdie is going to school, writing another manuscript, rewriting her first manuscript, taking care of an elderly mother and trying to keep her sanity all at the same time. I think I am getting pretty good at this.

Mama Birdie will be turning into Grandma Birdie soon and I can hardly wait! My granddaughter will learn about the Mama Birdie, but from a new angle.....