Saturday, December 10, 2011

Do You See What I See?

Standing in one place wherever I may go I often wonder if others see what I see. But now that it is Christmas time and a busy time of year I catch myself watching people to see if they notice the little things. Many prayers go out when I feel the need, but all the wonderful things I see may seem small and insignificant to others, just the same I know God is behind it all.

A small child putting its hand to the face of a baby sibling and soothing words being said so the baby won't cry. A young man holding the door open for a mother who is trying to hold onto packages and herd four teens into another store, never once noticing how she got in the store without using her own limbs. A couple busy going down a list of names making sure they didn't miss anyone, while their five-year-old tries to keep up only to trip on his untied shoe laces.

Sometimes I wished I could shout from the roof tops. Like have we gotten so into the commercialism of our holidays that we have become numb, blind, and deaf to what is happening to those near and dear to us? But alas I feel after the staring is over one by one they will all go back to what they were doing. 

Perhaps we all need our turn at what Ebenezer Scrooge went through when he was visited by the Spirits of Christmas Present, Past, and Future.

Hold on to what really matters, those little Kodak moments when you least expect them. So we aren't going to stop shopping, or packing the malls diligently seeking the prized gift we want to give to our family and friends. Don't wait until you fall into your favorite piece of furniture before you finally think of those around you. It may be hard at first but I am sure if you can train a dog to do tricks you can rewire your thinking.

If we all did this I am pretty sure we would all have a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year. I know I am going to give it a shot this year, how about you?

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

Sophia, Bella

Sophia, young and bright comes to the aid of her family when illness threatens her father. Interrupting her second year in college, her life takes a drastic change when a handsome young stranger enters her life. Lorenzo, a successful attorney had one thing on his mind when Sophia caught his eye, he had to have her. Life was wonderful for the happy couple, until one day while visiting her father at the hospital, Dr. Steven Spago walked in. Now, it was three lives intertwined in passion so great that Sophia knew she had to make a decision before one of them made it for her. Just when she thought she had everything under control a new twist would tie them all together…forever!

Friday, July 29, 2011

The Gift That Keeps On Giving

The curls of steam floating in the crisp morning air escaped from my freshly brewed cup of coffee. Standing on the patio overlooking our backyard a twinge of loneliness enveloped me. I soon forgot about the coffee and wondered why I was feeling this way. Walking back into the house I tried to lose myself in the housework that was before me.

Making breakfast for my mother and I, I cleared the table. Washing and folding clothes was next and it was done before I knew it. Next vacuuming which didn't take long either. I had more on my mind than I thought and I had a bad habit of cleaning the house like a tornado with a blouse on when I was in this frame of mind!

My mother kept asking me what was wrong and I kept answering I wasn't sure. Never tell your mother that something has been bothering you! For the rest of the day the feeling just wouldn't go away and the more I tried to bury it under whatever I was doing the worse it got.

That night while I was trying to go to sleep I could hear the neighborhood dogs bark every once in
awhile. Trying to picture each one of them, my mind wandered to all the dogs I had had in the past. Tears filled my eyes as the memories of my last dog Pepper entered my mind. She came into our family at the right time. Newly divorced, I had just lost my job and was in a tailspin I couldn't afford to be in with two small children to take care of. We went to live with my mother and step-father who had an array of animals. Horses, rabbits, dogs, cats, and pigeons. I was used to all these animals and my kids just thought every day at the zoo was wonderful.

The next day I woke up and felt a deep satisfaction of love. Taking care of something. Something. Taking care of something...that's it! I immediately felt as if a burden was lifted when I finally figured out what was bothering me. I waited until my mother woke up then carefully told her what I felt had been gnawing at me. My mother isn't an animal lover by nature. She just fell into it when her children and grandchildren brought strays home. At first, my mother was totally against the idea saying she didn't want any animals anymore. When I told her I felt this is what I needed and maybe I should move out now that my kids were grown and out on their own. This way I could take care of my animal in my own place.

Two days later my mother made an announcement and informed me that if I felt this strongly about having an animal she didn't think it was such a bad idea after all. I called my little sister in Texas to ask if she had any puppies because she and her husband are breeders of Mini Schnauzers. My sister told me she had one female left that was the runt of the litter. If I wanted she would ship her out to me. But the airport had different ideas. Days of arguing and trying to understand that the puppy couldn't be flown if the heat index was 85 degrees and above and no relief in sight under the scorching summer sun.

Calling out to God to help me get through all this red tape and get my puppy home to me left me utterly exhausted. Then one morning the phone rang and my brother-in-law told me he had made a phone call to an airport that was three hours from their house that agree to fly the puppy earlier, like at 
6:00 o'clock in the morning and she would land two hours later. My brother-in-law made arrangements to have the puppy flown two days later to an airport that was an hour away from where I lived. I didn't mind and my brother-in-law just wanted me to stop crying!

When I picked the puppy up I fell in love with her as I lifted her out of the crate she was shipped in. I knew instantly that I wanted to name her Grace. It was the grace of God Himself that made a way when there seemed only impossibilities. Like when He parted the Red Sea. Like when David slew Goliath. When everything from the time I became aware of Him to the time I decided to accept Him as my Lord and Savior began to all make sense in this one moment. Every moment my Father has His hand in making the impossible become possible. I have finally learned that God is bigger than all my problems and bigger than all my fears with a front row seat to what it feels like to be a part of what His love is all about. Gracie has become the song in my heart that I needed so badly, for so long.   

Thursday, June 2, 2011

The Grandmas

I remember at one time praying to God for grandchildren. My older son was seeing someone, while the younger one got married. A year later my oldest son became a father to my granddaughter, Sophie. The relationship between his girlfriend and himself didn't work out but they make it work for Sophie's sake. Almost two years later he became engaged to his new girlfriend and they welcomed my grandson, Gavin, into the world. I thought my life was complete as a grandmother until my youngest son and daughter-in-law had a baby girl, Lily three months later.

I started buying baby clothes, cribs, toys, bottles, diapers, wipes, etc. and that was just for my house! When the babysitting started I wanted to be ready for the adventure. My mother, their great-grandmother, joined in the effort as well. We soon became known as "The Grandmas". My mother was known as Nana, so I wanted a special name as well. Mimz came to mind because my mother loves watching English movies. Sophie referred to me as Mim and my mother as Nana, but the adults just called us the Grandmas.

She loves to sit on my recliner rocker with me while we watch Elmo. Sometimes we will watch opera and she loves to pretend she is singing. She is getting older and can now make me laugh until my sides hurt. Her antics make her Nana laugh as well. Now we have little tea parties with all her dolls.

Now her brother Gavin, is beginning to recognize people. The grandmas get a special smile now and again. When I sing to him and my mother joins in he lets out a little giggle or falls fast asleep if it includes being rocked to sleep. I can hardly wait until he can walk so we can run around the house with his sister and chase after Nana. It will be fun when it happens.

Lily will be next in line to complete the ensemble of pure craziness that the grandmas can hardly wait for. She will join her cousin, Sophie, in tea parties and feeding their babies. Then Gavin will come along and either join in or make them scream as he disrupts their tea party or takes off with their babies. But the grandmas will make everything right again.

Seems a bit overwhelming but I am looking forward to it all as is Nana. Because if anybody can pull it together, patch it up, or put a band aid on a boo boo, we can. With a special kiss, a warm hug and a smile this is what grandparents aspire to be. Even though there are no grandpas on either side, the women in this family are very strong when they need to be. The grandmas will prevail, by the Grace of God, to be all that they can be for all that come to us because of a dream in a heart so long ago to be just that....a grandma.

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

My Mother, My Friend

As I sit at the kitchen table drinking my coffee I look over at my mother who is working on her daily crossword puzzle. I often wonder if she will ever know just how valuable a person she really is.

When I was younger, I would follow my father around. Learning how to plant rose bushes and keep them up or build missions out of sugar cubes. Anything that had to do with my father I was there front row listening with great admiration. My older sister would do the same with my mother. Granted, I loved my mother dearly, but she was always taken up with something in the house and I apparently wanted more. As a girl I found it hard to believe that household chores were what being a female was all about. I tried everything I saw my father do, within reason.

My mother did play a role in my life even if it was a small one in the beginning. Then one day I began to realize after my parents divorce what a wonderful human being she really was. We would talk to all hours of the night sometimes or go somewhere and find out we liked some of the same things.

A few years later I got married and had a family of my own. My two sons are close to me and we do talk to great lengths at times. But somehow I often wondered if they ever felt the same way about me as I did my mother. It wasn't until recently that my youngest son told me he never felt that way. Whenever anything bothered my sons, even as of today, they come over and just sit not saying a word. Sometimes they will just ask to take a nap in my room. When this happened I wanted to ask what that was all about but didn't. 

It was my youngest son who explained it to me. "You know Mom, sometimes my brother and I don't want to talk about what is bothering us at the time. That is why we don't sit with you but ask to take a nap in your bed. The blankets are like your arms wrapped around us like a big hug." I cried when he told me that.
Now that my sons have their own families and yes they still once in a while take a nap in my room, it is comforting to know that they still feel that way about their own mom.

Time has taken my step-father to his grave and divorce visited me a long time ago. So here I sit with my mother watching the same tv shows that make our sides ache or tears to our eyes. We have become friends in the midst of a mother-daughter relationship. Age has taken its toll on both of us but we have come to know that even though we cannot be in eachothers faces, we can be there for one another when it counts. This is all in the game called Life I suppose, but I wouldn't have it any other way...