As I sit at the kitchen table drinking my coffee I look over at my mother who is working on her daily crossword puzzle. I often wonder if she will ever know just how valuable a person she really is.
When I was younger, I would follow my father around. Learning how to plant rose bushes and keep them up or build missions out of sugar cubes. Anything that had to do with my father I was there front row listening with great admiration. My older sister would do the same with my mother. Granted, I loved my mother dearly, but she was always taken up with something in the house and I apparently wanted more. As a girl I found it hard to believe that household chores were what being a female was all about. I tried everything I saw my father do, within reason.
My mother did play a role in my life even if it was a small one in the beginning. Then one day I began to realize after my parents divorce what a wonderful human being she really was. We would talk to all hours of the night sometimes or go somewhere and find out we liked some of the same things.
A few years later I got married and had a family of my own. My two sons are close to me and we do talk to great lengths at times. But somehow I often wondered if they ever felt the same way about me as I did my mother. It wasn't until recently that my youngest son told me he never felt that way. Whenever anything bothered my sons, even as of today, they come over and just sit not saying a word. Sometimes they will just ask to take a nap in my room. When this happened I wanted to ask what that was all about but didn't.
It was my youngest son who explained it to me. "You know Mom, sometimes my brother and I don't want to talk about what is bothering us at the time. That is why we don't sit with you but ask to take a nap in your bed. The blankets are like your arms wrapped around us like a big hug." I cried when he told me that.
Now that my sons have their own families and yes they still once in a while take a nap in my room, it is comforting to know that they still feel that way about their own mom.
Time has taken my step-father to his grave and divorce visited me a long time ago. So here I sit with my mother watching the same tv shows that make our sides ache or tears to our eyes. We have become friends in the midst of a mother-daughter relationship. Age has taken its toll on both of us but we have come to know that even though we cannot be in eachothers faces, we can be there for one another when it counts. This is all in the game called Life I suppose, but I wouldn't have it any other way...