Have you ever had an off day? Felt as if you just didn't feel up to par as your day moved on? You wonder if it is a bout of depression, but just scoot that thought out of your head because it is just too heavy to think about. You look for another answer but can't quite put your finger on it.
The tears fall down your cheeks and you take a deep breath and try to rehash your last few days. How did you get into this mode of sadness? It feels as if you are in a black hole and you can't muster up enough strength to climb out.
Sometimes it is just better to stay in bed for a while. Maybe sleep in a little longer.
This is what happened to me today and I couldn't quite figure out what the heck was going on. I didn't feel as if I couldn't go on any more, but the sadness just overwhelmed me. I was supposed to be getting a room emptied, the rug was to be removed and wooden flooring put in the next day. Not getting into that room until 4 p.m. was the best I could do. I removed as much as I could. Then an hour later my son removed the rest of the heavier furniture.
My son and his girlfriend made a delicious dinner of which I enjoyed and we even watched the Laker game. But after all was said and done and everyone went their own way I felt the sadness creep back in. I kept trying to think about the fact that on April 5th we will find out the sex of the baby my son's girlfriend is carrying. My grandchild.
The evening lingered and I decided to write this blog, hoping it would make me feel better. Which it has in some way but hopefully tomorrow will bring a brighter day. Maybe I will dive into a book that a friend wrote and when I am through I will write a much deserved review.
I often wonder if writers have off days. It makes sense that when you don't feel like doing anything, writing would be the best medicine. Have you ever felt like this before? If so what have you done to chase the blues away?