Happy Birthday, Mimz

This birthday that just passed was celebrated by close friends sending birthday wishes, giving presents, singing songs in emails or in person, etc. Then my granddaughter came for a visit, albeit thanks to her mother for being so thoughtful in calling me on the phone and letting my granddaughter say happy birthday by breathing in the phone, it was awesome! Then she came over and I spent the whole day with her and she wound up spending the night. I had forgotten how wonderful waking up in the middle of the night, my eyes resting on this little person smiling back at me, then turning over and falling back to sleep. I cried. She is a wonderful little miracle.

Just to let you know how wonderful, she is almost 9 mos and she was singing to me while I was rocking her to sleep. At first I wasn't sure, but when I started to sing to her I noticed she wasn't baby talking but trying to sing too. Her mother sings to her with this amazing voice that is natural--no singing lessons, and I've heard her Papa sing to her which I find endearing. Singing to me has been so healing for so long, and now I have been given a gift so precious from my granddaughter. There is no topping this by any means...sorry, this all makes me cry. Happy 54th Birthday to me...

Romance

Romance...it is a beautiful word. When you are in love, it is even better. I write romance novels and right before I start a novel, I think about Gone With The Wind, Wuthering Heights, When A Man Loves A Woman, or You've Got Mail. Any one of these greats will bring to mind the feeling of losing yourself in someone else.

Writing a novel was always a big dream of mine ever since I was a teenager. The first time I attempted to write a story, I wrote three simultaneously, without chapters. By the time I decided to concentrate on the first one I was well passed 919,515 words. Then I got the idea to join a writing group, which then led to joining classes within the group. All of this helped quite a bit but I soon learned that I needed to chop up my stories in chapters. Wow, how the heck could I forget that?

I wrote the first novel in three months from start to finish, another three months to put it into chapters, and a year to edit the darn thing a kabillion times. I didn't want this to become a chore but remain a hobby. I was discouraged because I knew I was good at this writing thing, but the more I read about how much work the group was putting into their own stories I decided to stop and take a vacation. I couldn't believe how hard something that brought me so much pleasure, was slowly turning into a nightmare.

That is when I made up my mind that I would write what I had in my heart to write and when I was through then I would go on the endeavor of the next step...finding an agent. I still don't think all of this is as hard as everyone makes it out to be. I just decided that I will try, giving my writing as much of a chance as I can give before "I" say enough is enough and stop.

Writing is second nature to like breathing. I can lose myself in it for hours. Start early in the morning before anyone or anything tries to interrupt me and before you know it I look up at the clock and evening has arrived in all it's glory! I love to write, it frees my mind. If someone were to give me something to write about I feel as though I have this tight coat on. Can't breathe, can't think, inevitably I can't write. I can write anywhere, any time. I don't believe I have to lock myself up in another room and I only have four walls staring back at me. I can be among others and still write, providing I am not interrupted. My mother solves her crossword puzzles, my sons go about their lives, and I am at the kitchen table or TV room with it blaring as my mother watches her British comedies or movies. I am perfectly fine among all of it. But I do become a little agitated if you try to engage in conversation with me. Writing is important to me and I hate being interrupted for anything. When I get an idea I run with it. That is how important writing is to me. It means everything in the world to me, to get it down on paper or in the computer.

Tiny Little Miracle

Our tiny little miracle came in the shape of a preemie named Sophie Cadence on July 26, 2009. She was tiny and had some stomach problems but being a fighter, our worries were soon over. Sophie came at a time when I needed something in my life and I knew it had to be a miracle because let's face it there could be nothing else that would be acceptable to me.

She looks like her mother at times and somewhat like her father too. Sophie has grown in leaps and bounds and knows how to get what she wants when she wants it! You know when she is around because you can hear the giggling or roaring laughter in the room from all those around her. When she is in a playful mood with her Papa Gabe she will stick her pacifier or teething biscuit into his mouth. I tell him she is tired of hearing the talk, she wants to play, and play they do.

Papa Gabe will sing his rendition of "Cuban Pete" while Sophie starts dancing. Actually she likes for Papa to hold her at the waist while she jumps up and down kicking her feet until he stops singing. Sometimes she makes him sing the song two or three times, depending on her mood. Then there is time where she just wants to sit and watch TV with him. Of course the images go back and forth to her, but she gets a kick out of Papa when he hoops and hollers for his favorite team when they score. She laughs and jumps up and down waiving her little arms as if she is helping to cheer his team on too.

When nap time comes sometimes she just wants Papa to hold her and they both nod out. I try to put her in her crib but she cries out waking her daddy and he takes her back in his arms. She loves her Papa and he loves her. They are very close as it should be between parent and child. I wished both Mommy and Papa would have been able to stay together, but I know in my heart that they both love her and pray this sustains her for the rest of her life.

I speak only of what I know on Papa's side because I am his mother. When he first brought her over he had the baby carrier in one hand with the diaper bag that held all of the baby necessities, including a notebook that had Sophie's feeding and changing schedule. From the start Gabe was involved in everything, even caring for Mommy when she was still hurting from her C-section. He would wash Mommy's hair, help her shower, make her something to eat, etc. Of course the other Grandma helped too by caring for Mommy when Papa went back to work.

But even though the relationship between Mommy and Papa didn't work out they still had Sophie to remind them of when it did. Whether it is in her smile or gurgling, they can't deny that this wonderful, beautiful human being is truly a little miracle that we all needed in our lives.

When I hold her she stares into my eyes and the corners of her little mouth turn up. That smile melts my heart and I know in the future it is going to mean BIG TROUBLE when I start taking her shopping with me, from the first to the millionth time. I will cherish every moment as any Grandmother would and hope for a kabillion more to come...

Family

Family...ah yes, those people that at one time or another you wished you could exchange for a better model or nothing at all. But really, if you had the "real" chance of doing this you wouldn't. Come on, who are you kidding? You've already broken these people in and put up with their "stuff" all these years. Do you really want to start all over again?

My family has been there for me through thick and thin. They have also kept my feet on the ground with the occasional "reality check". Let's face it, we all get those checks when someone in the ranks feels we are lifting off the ground onto that "high horse" and need to be brought back down, with love hopefully. Your family knows what made you tick as a baby, child, adolescent, teenager, and young adult. Now it is up to you to show what you have learned and what you are all about now that you are an adult.

We go to work and somewhere along the line are reminded that our mothers are not going to come behind us to clean up. We go through the rest of our lives realizing that "hey wait a minute, I have to do this myself?" Then it begins to click in our minds what we really do have. There are others that don't have that much and wished they did. Don't get me wrong, I am not going on a tangent of what our parents or grandparents reminded us of everytime we refused to eat something on our plate. "Do you know there are starving kids in ---- that would give their right arm for a feast like this!" Of course you only think it in your mind, if you're smart: "Well, can I mail it to THEM?"

Families on the short end of things are either for you or against you. But you have to be honest with yourself when you are criticizing them. Are you being honest when you say to yourself, "I don't do anything and they yell at me for nothing!" Because if this is true then you answered your own question of why they treat you the way they do. You aren't doing "anything". I don't have the answers for all of this but what I do know is the one set of people you can't fool....you guessed it--your family!

So while summer is upon us and the BBQ's will be starting full speed ahead, it would behoove you to make peace with your people and have a good old fashion party in the backyard. It brings families together and you never know what surprises may come, but whatever you do, always strive to have fun. Your family is what makes you, you and granted now you can add your two cents when the conversations start...