Friends Forever

p

When we are looking for someone to be our friend I have often thought about where our starting point is. Sometimes we are so into the perfect someone that we miss the one that could have been the friend we needed and the search would've been over sooner. Then there is the popular person we think we need as a friend when the person who had been loyal to us was never chosen.

Maybe it sounds a little too far fetched, but what if "you" aren't what this other person is looking for? You do realize you first have to be the person whom you seek. Are you the friend who would never turn your back no matter what happens? The friend that cries when your friend cries? Stick up for them when everyone else accuses them? Better yet what if your friend's significant other starts a riff between you two. What then?

I have been that friend, chosen and overlooked, so I know what I am talking about. I have also been successful at choosing friends when I wasn't even looking. While I was attending school I met three kind souls who adopted me as their friend. I have written about these three friends in a previous blog and pray that I never loose touch.

The other day I was visiting Facebook and received a message from someone I had gone to school with. We were best friends in high school. She was having a hard time with her mother, the usual teenager vs adult kind of thing. I of course was getting along with my family but my friend was in trouble. So I did the only thing I could do--stand with her. I took a towel with some of my clothes inside and walked to school like nothing was wrong. When we met at school she asked me what the towel was for so I opened it up. When she saw my clothes her mouth fell open as she asked, "You would've done this for me?" Without hesitation I replied, "Yes." We cried together then laughed til we cried again.

In our Facebook messages back and forth to one another telling each other how good it was to reconnect after so many years apart (we live in two different states) we promised to stay in touch. When I finished reading her message she signed off as "Friends Forever" and the tears filled my eyes.

Some friendships can never be "planned" or "chosen" because they just "happen" when you least expect them. I wouldn't have it any other way, would you?

Friends

Have you ever taken the time to look at what friends you have made over the years? The friendships that lasted through thick and thin? The ones you still have as opposed to the ones you once had? These questions that only we have answers to boggle the mind sometimes, and I was thinking about them today.

There is one friend that I have known since high school that lives in another state. Then there are three new friends that I met recently while going to school. We are the five Musketeers. Or at least that's what I have dubbed us and they just go along with it.

We are between the ages of 26 and 56. One is Indian from India, and the rest of us are Mexican-American. We all have families to some degree, either married, divorced, never married, and taking care of an elderly parent. Each looking for something and found one another. Helping each other through all the rough spots in class, life, etc.

We visit in class then get busy in whatever subject we are studying. Either side by side or across the room. Whatever it is that keeps us together helps us through our daily lives at home as well. Something strikes one of us funny, we text message the others. Something makes us cry, we call the others. This system of friendship works for us, and as they say in musketeer ville: "One for all, and all for one!"

To my friends, I love you and will cherish your friendship forever. Even when we graduate from school we will keep in contact. When we get out there and actually get that dream job we have always wanted, I will reach out to you and celebrate once more....that we are friends. Because when something happens to one of us, it happens to all of us. Take care and God bless you. Here's to crossing our swords forever....

Love always,
Mama Birdie

Acceptance

One day while I was at school waiting for my teacher to unlock the classroom door, I looked up and saw this tree. It was in the area where the Parenting classes took place. The children were arriving one by one with their parents. Looking back at the tree I noticed how bare it was, with the branches reaching to the clouds.

The birds lit on the high branches, greeting one another with a friendly chirping noise as birds do. Then an even bigger bird, nearly three times the size of the others, landed on the nearby telephone wires. It watched as more birds began to fill the branches. Squawking at them as if she was asking to be acknowledged. The other birds continued to chirp while others merely flew away.

Pretty much like humans that are new to their surroundings or lonely, she continued to squawk, but the other birds continued with what they were doing as if they couldn't be bothered by her. Venturing closer she landed on the highest branch and continued to watch the other birds, this time she was quiet. Moving down to a lower branch she remained silent but still curious, waiting patiently.

The smaller birds began to move closer onto the same branch as the larger bird and chirped softly to her. Flittering around her, yet moving slowly and closer to their new found friend. It brought tears to my eyes as I took this as a sign of acceptance.

The classroom door opened, and I said a silent prayer for both of us. My journey as a new student at a new school, an older student that had learned through the years to be patient and observe, was just beginning. Uppermost thought in my mind when I cross the threshold every morning? The want and desire of .....acceptance.

Circle of Friends

Being an older student does have its perks. I turned 53 this past April and wondered what I was going to do with my life since my termination from my job of 5 years. I have Degenerative Joint Disease and was in dire need of a sedentary job, or so I had been told.

My search of schools took its toll on me but I finally made my choice and am now attending this fine establishment. Monday through Friday I trek to school with my backpack full of my books and eagerness in my heart. I am doing very well from what my teachers tell me...I am thrilled!

Being the new kid on the block I still smiled as I entered the very first day and said hello to everyone that came my way. I befriended two kind souls that have proven to be just that. Helping me along the way and vice versa. We have become true friends in such a short period of time. I have only been a student in that class for almost three weeks, but none the less they accepted me.

Don't get me wrong, I am not a hard person to get along with, just a little skeptical in my old age. Lately things in my life had been getting a little hectic. An elderly mother of whom I live with and try to keep company when time will allow. A car that acts up more than my two sons when they were toddlers. No job, writing a novel, several short stories, none of which were accepted in contests I entered them in. But I am stubborn and I continue to write regardless.

Last Friday my two friends at school and I were helping each other with an assignment. It was grueling but we got through it...together. When the clock struck noon my friends collected their things as I did. We all walked to our cars together wishing one another a nice weekend. Both girls gave each other a hug of which I thought was cute, they knew each other longer so I just waited to say goodbye. Then both of them said in unison, "Cindy, we are going to give you a hug too because now you are a part of our family of friends as well." I cried all the way to my car. It has been a rough ride being an older student and now the younger ones are teaching me a thing or two....I am a student in more ways than one.

Not Again

Remember when the advertising blurbs came out for Lipstick Jungle? I couldn't wait until it was on. Every week I waited. Turned the phone off, let family members know that while this program was on the "Do Not Disturb" sign was on the door!

Wendy (Brooke Shields), with her soft but suttle ways to speak up in a man's world. Nico (Kim Raver), who could seduce, immasculate, and neuter a man before he knew what hit him. Victory (Lindsay Price), who though has that little girl doll face, could whip something up to wear and look like she never broke a sweat.

The three of these young ladies were Lethal Weapons in their own right. They are talented, know their craft and pulled it off in a no nonsense series that was never given a chance. The good programs are always cancelled while they are still being shaped into the programs we grew to love. No matter how short their tv life was I grew to love the way these women carried themselves.

Sex In The City had nothing on them. Though I do think Sarah Jessica Parker is talented in her own way. I really thought that Lipstick Jungle was THE ONE program that would last for longer than it did.

I am sorry to see that this happened and I can see why people are starting to rent movies more and more. The only thing that I can do to remedy my disappointment is to buy the series at my local Best Buy store.

I wish all three of them well and I hope to see them in the future, either together or separately....

Reaching Out

When you found yourself in need of comfort for what ever reason and you let it be known, how long did it take for someone to respond? When you heard the cry for help from someone unknown to you, how long did it take for you to respond? When it is you in the position of answering the call do you wait for others to respond before you make a move?

I have asked myself these very questions. I have even wished for a friend that I could vent to, visit without invitation, have a cup of coffee with in the morning while we discuss our inner most dreams. Many friends have come and gone only three remain out of all of them. One from high school that I found searching on the internet. The other two I used to work with, they email or text me every other day.

I had a close friend and I use the term loosely. Turns out that I was the only friend in the relationship. By the time she figured out why I wasn't talking to her anymore I had cut her off. No more accepting calls that wound up with her telling me all her drama and me never getting to say my piece. At first I made the excuse that she really needed a shoulder to cry on. The whole five years were like that. She would call my cell phone, text me or call my home number. If I didn't answer one she would call the other number simultaneously. A co-worker that witnessed it said they call that STALKING. Then it started at home and my mother was witness to it she was shocked and said the same thing. It has been 3 months since I've heard from her.

This didn't stop me from making other friends. I am just a little more careful about choosing them.

On the other hand I have also had the opportunity to make friends that reached out to me. Either in person or over the internet. Writing has become a tool that has been useful for me in this respect. I have reached out to others through my writing. It is as if my heart has taken over and pours out what my true self is all about.

One of my neighbors invited me to a neighborhood barbeque. She had these every so often so everyone could meet and get to know eachother. This time I accepted and actually went. I had the time of my life. My next door neighbor who would wave as she passed talked to me for over two hours. We had a lot in common!

I had come from a neighborhood where I lived for most of my teen and adult life. Everybody knew everybody and their kids and parents. My mother and step-father were getting older and decided to move to a smaller house in the next city. Not one neighbor greeted them. After my step-father died I moved in with my mother. Still no welcome. Now it has been four years and I decided I needed to make the first move.

I'm the kind of person who waves and says hello to everyone. But I guess not everyone is ready for that kind of friendliness. Not until I went to the barbeque! We laughed, we talked, we listened to music. I had a blast. Now when I go for my morning paper I get the waves and hello's that I prayed for.

So what is the real lesson here?

I have learned that if I am to make a decision that I want a friend and what my expectations are from the relationship.....I first have to ask myself what kind of friend will I be? I have to be able to meet the challenge of what I expect in a friend. What I entrust I must also trust. So you see it is a two way system. And the answer is simple. All it takes is reaching out....